Are you a panther? Whenever anyone tells you something they have done do you answer with a story about your life which makes their story seem small and insignificant? Do you acknowledge what they have said before you launch into your story? In that case, you may be a panther!
Or are you a cat? You hear their story, acknowledge it and ask questions to validate their story and viewpoint.
A panther or a cat?

Imagine you are a black cat. You are interesting, knowledgeable and a pleasure to be around. And then you speak to someone who seems to think they are better than you, bigger than you, more powerful than you – they believe they are a black panther!
This makes you feel less, less important, less seen and less heard.
By not listening to what they are having to say you are dismissing their story or viewpoint as worthless in your eyes. Instead of listening to what they have said and seeing if you can learn something you are relegating their words to just a prompt for your next story. This diminishes them and subconsciously they may be wary of speaking up again.
Maybe you recognise this in someone you work with. It is hard to have a conversation with someone who is always bigger/faster/more important than you.
What’s the solution?
If you are the panther…
If you feel you need to tell your own story or give your own viewpoint, then try (it’s hard!) to stop and listen instead and ask one question to show you have heard.
- Tell me more
- What happened next?
- How did that make you feel?
The right question will be the one that fits into the narrative, the one that shows you are listening!
If you work with someone who is a panther…
After you have finished speaking and they start to tell you their viewpoint then interrupt and ask to continue to speak. Often this is enough to make them realise!
Of course in normal conversation we each tell our stories, that is how we learn from each other. And therefore this is OK most of the time. A black panther however will do it every single time! And you will notice! And if it is you – maybe now is the time to change
Jacqui Hanbury is the Managing Director of The Pathway Communication Company Limited and is a specialist in helping you find the thing that is stopping your business from achieving as much as it could be.Β Follow her on LinkedInΒ to find out more.

The Pathway Communication Company LtdΒ provides a personalised plan to help you and your business move forward. We might help you set goals, a strategy, a communication plan, facilitate a meeting, be a coach or mentor. Whatever it takes. Find out more at:Β www.pathwaycc.co.uk